My dilemma with becoming a mother {Women Stuff}

Hey, Nidhi. I am Punam and read your comment on becoming mother dilemma so thought of sharing my experience. To be a mother is always a huge responsibility and even I had loads of confusion when I was about to be a mother.

In my situation, it was all our decision to have a baby and others saying its too early because we had been married for only a year and half!! I was afraid of the responsibilities and wanted to learn how to run and take care of home before I became a mom.

Those days, even though ours was a love marriage, we used to have enough heated discussions to make me reluctant to go for a baby. I always used to think that excess of arguments between me and my husband means there is less understanding and that's not good for the baby.

In a nut shell, I wanted to have a few years for ourselves to understand each other before we expanded the family. But, then, the question came to whether the disagreements would ever end? I mean howsoever much you might love or understand a person, everyone has their own opinion.

Me and my mom also fight till date even though we have a 27 year old relationship not considering her being my mom fact!! First Advantage: Our relationship and understanding improved with the baby. Second Advantage: Kids become THE ultimate excuse

I always used to have this complaint that I will have no time for myself after having a baby. But, the truth is I have more time myself now as I have everybody to help me and they give me my own space. I have more servants now to help me because they think I have more work.

If you tend to be a little on the late side for social events and really hate having to iron, guess what? You have a built-in excuse for tardiness, slovenly dressing, and a whole host of other things. "Sorry, but with the baby and all, it's practically impossible to [fill in the blank]." Hell, you'll even get to leave boring parties early! :D 

So, these are a few things which I found changed after having my little angel :) Hope, this helps you. I do have few other things to mention in another post. So, watch out for that. And, in the meanwhile, you can always visit my own blog. I recently did an EOTD and a post on bumps after waxing!!

Other posts from Punam:

Hair Care during and after Pregnancy
Lakme Perfect Radiance Intense Whitening Capsules Treatment

Do all shampoos work for me? {Hair Care}

Yeah, I know. Its a weird post but this is in reply to a really funny comment I got one one of my posts yesterday. So, the anonymous writes:

All shampoos give u good results?? Dove also kamini also Pantene?

I thought many of you might have the same question so I would rather do a post on it. Well, actually my hair type, as I have mentioned countless times is, dry and fine and feels soft to silky depending on its mood. I have colored it once last year and that was a disaster. But, otherwise, my hair generally behaves nicely.

As to all shampoos suiting me, mostly my answer would be yes. My hair doesn't react easily and result in hair fall. Yes, my hair does get dry and the scalp also feels dry but no shampoo has triggered any allergic reactions and I don't have any history of dandruff which needs taking care of. When talking about shampoos, let me start with ones I used this year.

Dove Nourishing Oil

It was drying for my hair but initially it was fine. The conditioner does a good job of preventing the dryness. But, why I said it worked was because of my lack of experience with better products. Now that I have used Kamini's shampoo, I know how some shampoos can be non-drying. So, yes, this shampoo is not for dry hair but it did not dry out my scalp excessively and my hair behaved decently when I was using it.

Pantene Total Damage
Yes, it suited my hair because it did not cause my hair to get dry really soon. And, no itchiness either. Its, in fact, a good shampoo and the conditioner is even better.

Dove Color Rescue
Definitely drying!!! And, I have recommended it for only oily hair.

Kamini Shampoo
Yes, it suits me but it does dry out my scalp and hair sometimes. That is why I am searching for some shampoo whose ingredients I am aware of and is natural as well.

Those were the shampoos I tried out in my recent memory and more or less, I did like all of them. But, one thing I would say is that whatever shampoo you use, never ever skip on conditioner. Its very essential even if you have oily hair.  

Find products which suit your hair type but never skip on the essential routines. 

Also, please note that a person's reaction to a product changes over time and may not remain same always whether the person is a blogger or a reader :)

Dark Patches on Skin {Reader's Query}

I am publishing one of the reader's query and would really appreciate if you guys can give any pointers to the problem.

My daughter is 7 yrs old. There are some dark patches on her neck and elbow and knees. that makes her more dark . Can u pl. suggest me what shud i do ?

My reply.

regd the dark patches, are they coming now or were they there since before (may be from birth). I would say use sunscreen on her. I wouldn't suggest you to use any DIY or anything on her coz she is too young to get into all that. just face wash and moisturize properly. rest, you can take care of as she grows up but don't for go sunscreen. (I am sorry for this typo but I meant DIY) 

Her query continued.

Thanx a lot for ur reply. These dark patches are not because of this recipe. I dont know when they came but probably for last 2 yrs they are. I used many medicines given by Drs. but no use. sometimes they disappear but come again. Dr. say its eczema but some of them say no eczema. I dont know what is this but it really made my and my daughter's life a hell. I accept color has no value now a days but on the other hand when somebody ask or make a fun at least that person (my daughter) gets hurt. She asks me to make her fair like others because she does not like when girls give comments. Anyways i m using ur recipe.lets wait and watch & hope for the option. When she was 2 yrs old she was fair (I used to apply besan and yogurt daily) but after that her color started becoming dark and when she was 5 yrs old then these black patches problem started. 

My reply.

hi Sandhya...yes, I do understand how it is when people make fun!!! especially on children it has even adverse effects. one thing I would suggest is sunscreen. another, what I am thinking is that she has probably got hyper pigmentation problem or melanin has been over-produced.

Honestly, I am baffled with the issue. I would suggest her to go to a doc but knowing the dermatologists, I know how irritating it can get and not to mention, the expenses!! In case, you have any experience with this issue, a lot of help would be appreciated. And, I do know that I am not a doc or anyone.

Hair Combs and Brushes {Reader's Query}

Hi Swati, I coundn't find an appropriate post in which to ask this question, so I'm asking here. You've written a lot about hair care, but I couldn't find any post about hair brushes/combs. I've been reading that boar bristle brushes are really good for hair. What are your thoughts on that? What brushes/ combs do you use? Do you find that good quality ones aid in maintaining good hair health or is it unnecessary? I've seriously been considering purchasing a boar bristle brush (regular brushes cause more hair fall for me compared to combs), but I couldn't find a single Indian blog that had mentioned anything about it. 

So, first of all, thanks Poohkie for pointing such a pertinent topic. And, I am so sorry it has already been a month that I have not reverted back! Now, let me get back to the topic. Long back, I had discussed a bit of history on the combs and the ones I have used subsequently! I am really sorry about the missing pics in that post but I had deleted a pics folder in picasa because of which many of my posts have missing pics!

Wooden Combs

Apparently, the Indian artisans in history used to make wooden combs which had a sort of string of holes through the base of the teeth. One could pour a drop or two of oil through the first hole which used to travel down the comb and when used on the hair, the oil gets applied to the roots and hair strands evenly, nourishing the hair!

I have come across quite a number of wooden combs by now but still the TBS one remains my fav! I think its mainly to do with the finishing of the product. I recently got one for my friend as well and she has been finding a considerable difference in her hair. So, yes to wooden combs compared to the plastic ones! But, whatever you choose, make sure they are wide-teethed.

How to choose Hair Brushes?
Ok, the first rule with brushes is that if you have curly hair, its better to avoid one! Otherwise, I have heard natural brushes or boar-bristle brushes are really good. So, I did find out a long long time back that Denman and Mason Pearson are the two best brands when it comes to hair brushes but unfortunately I have no idea where they are available online. TBS carries wooden quilled brushes as well, one of which I had bought but use it very occasionally.

A flat brush or paddle brush is great to tame the hair and distribute the natural oils from the roots to the tips of the strands. The bristles of the brush can be nylon or wooden or natural hair like boar bristle or horsehair. Also, the base of the brushes should be rubber preferably because that allows the bristles to move more flexibly and damages the hair lesser comparatively!

How much brushing is good?
Hundred brush strokes a day is said to do amazing things to hair but I think that's just overdoing it. Excess brushing can actually damage the hair. First, brush the hair only when it is dry and it is straight.

Brushing curly hair can harm its cuticles because the hair strand is uneven and the brush quills can rip it off! That is why natural hair is preferable on the brush.

Also, a few brush strokes a day does help distribute the natural oils evenly on the hair. So, make sure you do not brush your hair excessively as it flattens the hair. If you have fine hair, remember that it can look very weighed down if you brush it more often, especially when it is a day old.

How to clean the brush?
I have to say that this is the one part which stumps me completely and discourages me to use my TBS brush. But, you do not have to worry if your brush is not wooden.

After every brush stroke, make sure you remove the hair strands caught up in the bristles. Ignoring them too much can lead to lot of accumulation of hair strands.

Also, soaking them and washing them once in two weeks or a week depending on how frequently you use it or how dirty it has become is good. I use a discarded tooth brush to clean the base of the brush and even my comb and nails. 

Do you use a brush? How do you choose your hair brushes? How often do you use them and how do you clean your brush?

Related Posts:

My dilemma with becoming a mother
Do all shampoos work for me?
Dark Patches on Skin

Which Shampoo to Use? {Reader's Query}

"Could you please suggest a shampoo for 8 yr old girls? I am using J&J baby shampoo still but I have started observing it is not working on their hair and cleaning it properly? I see dandruff also started developing in their scalps. Any remedy for that?"

Actually, I would suggest organic surge shampoo for anyone. I would say stay away from sls shampoos and get organic products. They help keeping the scalp healthy and moisturized. The dandruff being developed might be due to the dryness of the scalp as far as I understand. Do you oil their hair? I would suggest you to oil their hair regularly and then use shampoos. Or, you can also go for body shop or schwarzkopf shampoos but all of them are definitely expensive!!

Thanks so much for the reply! I'm oiling their hair with J&J baby hair oil only. Do you suggest any other oils (brands)? Also can you please recommend any brand for organic shampoo? I heard Body shop products have lot of chemicals and they tend to dry hair. I've no idea about schwarzkopf shampoo. Should I get one for me first and see :-) 

I would suggest you to go for pure coconut oil or such things instead of J&J baby oil and all. It has mineral oil and might not suit everyone. Also, if possible, I can suggest to you the bhringraj oil or neelibrigandi sort of oil from arya vaidya sala shop or website or even pure coconut or sesame or mustard oils from 24 letter mantra or any other organic brand. If you stay in Hyderabad or Bangalore, I can suggest you to check out goodseeds website. And, for arya vaidya sala, they have lot of shops in Hyderabad and Bangalore as far as my knowledge goes.

Check out the following:
www.aryavaidyasala.com/(S(emocbj45sqglubyiy2aeivib))/Index.aspx
https://www.facebook.com/goodseeds

And, regarding organic shampoo, I would say Organic Surge brand is really really good. I have been using it almost since a year and its awesome. And, regarding body shop or schwarzkopf, I have not personally tried them so I can really not say anything about them. I just suggested coz I have heard good reviews about them!!

What do you say? Any pointers as to which shampoo should she use?

Related Posts:

Hair Combs and Brushes
My dilemma with becoming a mother
Dark Patches on Skin