How to make my child fair? {Beauty Philosophy}

This is not a post on fairness or to berate people who preach such things. The post today is about our responsibility to make things better and not fall victims to the same age-old practices which we have criticized before becoming a prey to it.

In my own family, I have seen countless women suffering from inferiority complex because either their mother, sister or, worse still, mother-in-law is fairer than them. I know this sounds a little extreme but these are small nuances which have great effect on relationships as well in the later life! There is nothing called fairness. We all have a pre-defined skin tones and we can never change them. 

Take me for example, my mother is extremely fair where as my father is the opposite end of the pole. There is a lot of age difference in my mom and dad and thanks to her genes, my mother looks younger than her age and has very little gray hair even though she is 52 now. Where as, my father started greying post 45 which is, I guess, a decent age. And, I did not favor either of them in the skin tone. I am a middle with a darker wheatish skin tone. So, I was ridiculed on one hand for being too dark and for being fair enough on another :D

Honestly, either of it did not change much for me. I learned that pretty early in life and have been comfortable in my own skin. I think it has a lot to do with how your parents treat you as well. For example, I know of a lady who had commented on her second child being darker than her first born! Well, this comment stayed with the second lady for life long and it does manifest in quite a lot of her activities! 

In fact, I would love to quote a dialog from Pretty Woman which fits aptly in this context, "Well, thanks, but it's easy to clean up when you got money". It is so true coz when you can buy whole lotta stuff, you do become fairer overnight. Ever noticed that with our film stars?  

What do you say? What is your stance on being fair? 

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Is dark so ugly? {Beauty Philosophy}

Well, this certainly does not apply to women alone but let me say that maximum racism is carried out by women only! Ok, I might be termed a misogynist for this statement. But, seriously, maximum number of times in my life, only women have pointed out that I am dark and therefore ugly!

Anyways, why this post was prompted was because of my increasing concern towards my readers! Oh no, I am not altruistic. But, recently, I have started getting so many queries regarding how to become fair. Well, if you are a 10 plus something, I am fine with such questions. But, the unfortunate thing is that mommies are becoming paranoid for their 1-2 month old babies' complexions as well.

First, I am NOT making fun of you. Second, I am seriously concerned. Third, hear me out.

I totally understand where all this concern is coming from. Years and years of ill-treatment due to complexion differences more often result in such kind of anxieties. So, let me first reply to all those queries. PLEASE DO NOT BE CONCERNED. The babies and kids tend to change their skin color. In fact, skin color changes for even adults. So, keep their skin care routines healthy and simple and apply sunscreen regularly for kids above 2 years or ask a dermatologist or a paediatrician.

Now, coming to voicing my concerns, I think that we can not change the old mindset but we can lay down the new rules. We as the propagator of the future generations need to get over our insecurities and make sure our kids do not carry the same inferiority complexes which were drilled into us by the society. If at all, they should be taught how to fight and not feel bad for someone's comments. Because, there will always be one person who will speak ill. Because, there will always be some or the other struggle they have to undergo. And, because, we are better equipped in understanding our kids psychologies thanks to our own experiences.

So, instead of thinking how to deal with the issue, we should teach them how to face the challenges gracefully. And, this is just a small matter of complexion. I very strongly believe that any hesitation on the part of the parent gets conveyed to the kid somehow even if none of them actually understand what it is and that hesitation does manifest in the kid as he grows older.

So, this is my earnest request to all parents of all generations to please not get bothered by little things as complexions and clothes and rather focus on developing self-confidence and self-esteem in the child. And, this process actually starts since the conception of the baby! And, please do not take this post as a lesson in parenting. I do not have a kid of my own neither I have brought up any sibling of mine but these are some parenting rules I live by and would carry them out on my progeny.

What do you all think? Is it our responsibility to change the perspective of future generations or not?

PS: Please note that this post is not meant to hurt any sentiments. On the other hand, I respect them all and understand them!

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